From the worse day of my life to taking a seller’s call….

Posted on 13. Feb, 2010 by in Random Ramblings



Long time no chat huh? Well as ya’ll know (and some new comers may not) I was in the hospital. I had to undergo some surgery last Sunday in order to get the huge infection out of my face (from getting my wisdom teeth pulled, remember?)

I gotta tell you first and foremost that last Sunday was literally the worse day of my life. It’s hard to even put into words about that day and how bad it was. Oh and to start off my Sunday morning Dr. Jerk Face wakes me up! Yeah, of all the fkn people I want to see while I’m in the hospital. He tells me that he’s gonna be the one doing my surgery and that he doesn’t know if it will be today but definitely on Monday. My stomach just sinks. I don’t want him touching me!

Shortly after the Ear, Nose, Throat doctor comes into my room and introduces himself and says He will be doing my surgery today in about an hour or so. I thanked him. Oh I even asked him “has anyone died from this?” He says “not on my watch!” And he gave me a high five :-) (I was just so happy that Dr. Jerk Face wasn’t going to have anything to do with me. I actually heard the nurse talking outside of my room and I think that the Ear Nose Throat guy had words with Dr. Jerk Face and told him that he wasn’t going to do the surgery and that he, meaning the ENT, was.)

Anyway, my infection was so bad that I couldn’t even open my mouth enough for the anesthesiologist to do what he needed to do. Also, I think because it was so bad was why the ENT was doing it. The ENT had to actually go through my neck to operate and apparently that’s a big deal. I didn’t know just how big of a deal at the time but since the surgery I’ve been informed of that :-)

He, the anesthesiologist, held up 3 of his fingers together and said I need you to open your mouth this much, but you can only open it this much (he held up 1 finger) so we’re gonna have to do things a lil different here. His only option after we went over all of the otions was going through my nose while I was AWAKE. He said it was the only way he felt comfortable doing it because I would be awake and able to breath on my own until he got things situated where he could breath for me. Going any other route would leave me potentially not breathing at all for more than 5 minutes and he didn’t want to take the chance.




His goal he said was “so that you don’t remember anything I do to you at all because if you do and you need to get this type of thing done again in the future…..you won’t. I don’t want you to remember this at all, that’s my goal.” Grant it, I wasn’t wide awake, I mean he did his job well enough where I was awake and breathing on my own but I was still in la la land and he did very well as I didn’t remember a thing he did to me. Oh mind you, he also told me that he had another problem with me and that I was sick and coughing and sneezing and sore throat, etc. He said “normally there’s no way we’d do this operation on you today and there’s no way I’d do what I’m going to do, but I was told and instructed that we can’t wait and this needs to get done on you today. So, I’m apologizing ahead of time but your coughing and sneezing and sore throat is only gonna be worse when I’m done, but we don’t have a choice.”

The worse day of my life started when I began to awaken. If you’ve ever been under you know that it’s pretty scary waking up and you’re all discombobulated and out of it and you have no idea what’s going on. Well all of that was going on, but then tack on immense pain. And I mean it’s a pain that is really hard to describe and it was so painful and so horrible that as I type this now I’m getting upset again…….it’s one of those things in you’re life you wish you could forget.

Imagine, you’re out of it and you’re in pain and you said “I have stuff in my mouth, I have to spit!” Right? So the nurse hands you tissues because you can’t spit…..so you begin to get the “stuff” out of your mouth. You put the tissues in your mouth and pull them out and they are covered, I mean covered, dripping in BLOOD. Blood that just came from your mouth.

Yeah. That just adds on top of everything else when you realize your mouth is full of blood…..then you go to touch your nose and realize your nose is bleeding as well. Blood coming from your mouth and your nose and you’re in this immense pain and there is nothing you can do about it except scream and cry in agony.

What I remember hearing from clearly is someone screaming “GO GET HER FATHER!” My dad, who drove me to the emergency room, was awesome through this whole ordeal but I don’t think he was prepared for what he was about to see and experience when they went to get him after my surgery.

He stood next to me and held my hand and watched as his only child lay there with blood coming out of her mouth, blood coming out of her nose and she just screamed and cried in pain and agony. He held my hand and I watched his eyes well up….and he began to cry. Then, the nurse….began to cry. The only composed one, of course, was the doctor who performed the surgery. He stood over me just telling me that it would be ok and to relax and breath slowly. While the nurse screamed “Pain meds are coming hon, they’re coming you’ll start to feel them soon.”

Oh yeah and to top it all off I was itchy as hell! Do you know how it feels to be in so much pain and then to also be so itchy and you can’t scratch yourself so you have to attempt to talk your dad and a nurse through it? *sigh*

Soon enough the pain meds kicked in……..and I fell asleep. That was Sunday afternoon. The rest of Sunday I was shall we say an emotional basket case? I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much in my life but all I could see (and it almost felt like all I could feel) was waking up again from that afternoon and it was just to much and I couldn’t deal with it. I was a sight on Sunday. Oh yeah and gauze or what have you wrapped around my neck didn’t help much either because honestly, I had no clue what was underneath. Ya know?

Sunday nite was hell too as Kathy (and I sorta, but out of it) got into a fight with the nurses. They wouldn’t let her stay with me even though they knew I had a rough day and they saw how I was being. They said a “spouse” i.e. husband or wife could stay but she couldn’t. For you that don’t know me she IS my spouse. This is why it’s very important for gay and straight folks to please, please stand up for gay rights and gay marriage. You know what the reality is, it’s NOT about religion….it’s about doing the right thing and it’s about everyone’s spouse, whether you agree with it or not, being able to be with them in a time of need.

I’m pretty sure there is nothing in the world that would stop YOU from staying with your husband (or wife) in a time of need and you, honestly, don’t even have to worry about it, because you’d be allowed to. You don’t give it a thought. You know you’ll be able to be there for your spouse, your significant other. WE have to deal with bullshit in order to be there for our spouse, our significant other.

If ever I’ve been adamant about gay rights before, I’ll tell you that after this experience it’s definitely come to my attention that a whole lot more needs to be done. For the record, I want to say that 99% of the staff at Brandywine Hospital was awesome and very accomodating of myself and Kathy. The morning nurse kept saying “is Carey’s significant other here yet?” (Kathy was on a plane from Indiana….remember, snowed in there since Friday.)

I, being in as bad shape as I was, had to instruct my morning nurse the following “Can you please document it in my chart that if something happens to me and I end up in ICU that Kathy is allowed to come in.” The nurse took care of it and was understanding but you, as a married, heterosexual couple don’t have to worry about that….and neither should any gay or lesbian individual who is in the hospital and needs medical care! (Anyway, the problem was only with the Tuesday night staff.)

Finally, my worse day was over and I woke up Monday morning. Guess what? I could open my mouth! :-) I felt a million times better. It was amazing. I started my liquid diet breakfast and shortly after the nurse came in and told me I was allowed to eat real food per the doctor. OMFG I haven’t really ate in like 3 weeks! I was thrilled (and boy was I hungry!) I had french toast, scrambled eggs, sausage, corn flakes, a banana and lots of apple juice and decaf tea. Ahhhhhh.

The doc took out my drain that was in my neck and told me I’d be going home on Tuesday. Tuesday he came in told me I was looking great and I could go home after he wrote up my meds and that I had to follow up with the Dr. who did my surgery in a couple of days.

Tuesday I went home with antibiotics, steroids and percocets and life began again for me. Grant it, I still wasn’t in perfect shape and all I wanted to do was sleep (the hospital just ain’t the best time to sleep) and I was an emotional wreck Tuesday at home too……but it got better each day.

I’m having issues sleeping tho and I’m getting headaches but I honestly think that’s still my cold thang going on (yeah, it’s still there. One thing at a time ya know lol) But anything is better than being in the hospital that’s for sure.

Yesterday, Friday, I saw the Ear, Nose, Throat doc who did my surgery. His name is Dr. Timothy Downey and I love him :-) He told me that I’m healing great. He asked me to open my mouth and I did realll big and he was like “oh boy. Wow!” He gave me a high five. He said you look so much better. He took out my last 2 stitches, told me to keep taking my steroids and antibiotics and to follow up with him one last time on March 1st.

Ohhhh he also was so cute, he called his wife, who is an oral surgeon, while I was in there with him. He’s like “have you followed up with Dr. Manna (Dr. Jerk Face as I like to call him)?” And I said “No and I don’t want to.” He said “I don’t blame ya!” And he said he’s gonna call his wife to ask for her input about the healing time of my sites for my wisdom teeth, etc. He said “she knows all about you already, I told her about you the other day, so she’ll know who I’m talking about.” She was nice…..I asked him if I could go to her but he laughed and said I’d love for you to but she doesn’t practice in this state. (She’s a military doc.)


It’s Saturday now and tomorrow will be 1 week since my surgery. Things are getting back to normal, I still am having issues sleeping but what I usually do is “wake up” and sleep from about 8am to 1pm and then I’m good. Once I finish these steroids I’m gonna get working on this sinus infection. (Yesterday or the day before I actually blew out all of the blood and crap that was in my nose…which made me feel a lil better but still not completely great!)

Today a seller called after seeing my We Buy Houses info on the back of Kathy’s car. She left a message and sounded nice enough so I decided that I’d give her a call just so I can ease myself back into business. I mean I’ve been out of commission for over a month! So to say that money is an issue would be an understatement….so I gotta get moving (but, of course I’m making sure I’m healthy first before I go all out!)

Her Dad just went into an old persons community down the street from me and they want to sell his house. Grant it, I’m not really concentrating on wholesaling and such anymore, but I wanted to get my feet wet in talking “real estate” again. I’ve got a lot ahead of me to do…..but I’m confident that I’ll be better than ever and that Kathy and I will have our first apartment building in no time (ummm I’m aware that our March 1st deadline isn’t going to happen now, but hey….shit happens!)


Ohhhh one more thing that I wanted to mention. Do you remember me talking about Jerk Face and how he kept acting like everything was my fault “you need better hygiene” blah blah blah. And I just kept thinking “what the hell else can I do? I’m doing everything you say!” Remember?

Welllllll lo and behold an angel was my nurse on Monday night. Nurse Mimi came into my room and introduced herself. She says “yeah, I don’t work this unit I work solely in the heart unit but they were all filled up and they asked me in for overtime so they sent me over her to this floor and I got you.”

She says “So you had an abcess, huh?” I tell her “yeah, I had my wisdom teeth out like 3 weeks ago and here I am.” She smiled.

She went on to say “you know, my son, who is only a couple years younger than you had all 4 of his wisdom teeth out and all 4 were abcessed and he had to have them all drained.” I was like HOLY CRAP!

She said “yeah. I know. If you don’t mind me asking, who was your oral surgeon?” I said “Dr. Manna but I call him Dr. Jerk Face.”

And you should have seen her face. She said “Dr. Manna was my sons oral surgeon too.” (and she laughed at my name for him too.) She went on to tell me that she has 6 kids. 5 of her kids had their wisdom teeth out. 4 kids went to different oral surgeons and had no problems but the 1 son who went to Dr. Jerk Face ended up with 4 abcesses. Hmmmmmmm. Right?

She said you know my son is one of those types of guys that is VERY meticulous. You won’t even find a spec of dirt under his fingernails. She went on to say so I know that whatever directions that were given to him he followed to a T and I’m sure even went the extra mile.

After I heard her description of her son and heard her over all story about her son, it just made me feel soooo much better inside that I was doing what I needed to do for my teeth. Not that anything matters in regards with Jerk Face anymore but it just felt like he was overly trying to blame me for shit. And ya know after a while you start to think “well maybe he’s right?” Even though you know deep inside you’ve been doing what you needed to do…..so hearing Nurse Mimi’s story about her son just helped put my mind at ease.


Almost forgot, still have hardness on the left side off my face. They say that’s called scar tissue and should be better in time. Also, right below my chin and the left side of my neck is numb. Apparently, that happened from stretching out my nerves during surgery. The doc said that all of that should be normal to in time. Just between you and me though…even if it’s not, I still feel a gabillion times better now and I’m ok with the out come. :-)

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6 Responses to “From the worse day of my life to taking a seller’s call….”

  1. Stephani

    14. Feb, 2010

    Oh my gosh, Carey. I could barely read through the surgery part. That sounds so horrible I can not even imagine having to go through it. How did you not get sick with all of the blood in your mouth? I would totally have been puking all over the place which I’m sure would have made matters 100 x worse.

    Thank God that a-hole didn’t operate on you and you got the nice guy instead. Even though it was a horrible, horrible, experience, at least you didn’t have to have that jerk-off touching you.

    And I’m also really sorry that you had to deal with Kathy not being able to stay with you. I guess those are things that us straight folks don’t ever think about, but after reading your story, it makes me really pissed. I would have raised hell, too, like I’m sure you guys did. You didn’t say what happened, though- did she get to stay with you? I’m guessing yes.

    I’m really glad you’re finally feeling better, and want you to know I just decided I’m NEVER EVER getting my wisdom teeth out. :)

  2. Flippin' Carey

    14. Feb, 2010

    Steph,

    Good call on not getting your wisdom teeth out ;-) (unless of course you absolutely, positively have to.)

    I’m thinking puking all over the place really wouldn’t have helped lol I think my reaction was to scream and cry more instead of puke tho…know what I mean? Kinda like WTF? Why is my mouth full of blood.

    In regards to Kathy, no she was not allowed to spend the nite. It really was a fucked up situation. I mean I know you don’t know Kathy at all but let’s see she’s about 5’1″ and quiet as a mouse. Doesn’t raise her voice, wouldn’t hurt a fly. And in this situation we were in, she was actually very calm and NOT being difficult not yelling, not screaming, just calm.

    The nursing asst. actually told Kathy that she had to get the nurse supervisor to put it in writing that she could spend the nite. Kathy said great, can you please get the supervisor for me. Logical enough, right?

    Wellllll Ms. Nurse Supervisor, GINA, never came into the room, instead she waited in the hallway and sent in are you ready for this? 2 really big manly security guards. Mhm.

    So Mr. 6′ tall tough guy security guard comes into my room to tell my “oh so threatening 5’1″ partner” that “You have to leave the room NOW ma’am.”

    Mind you, I am not making this shit up. Kathy and I just looked at each other like “huh?” Why the fuck is security here? So Kathy very politely says “Well I’m not leaving until I speak to the nurse supervisor. I thought they were going to get her?”

    So now the nurse supervisor comes in with a major attitude and I gotta tell ya, the Philly girl in me was trying to come out soooo bad but I was just too drugged up, of course.

    They were all making a big deal about it because I had a room mate but my room mate leaned over several times and told them “I don’t mind if she stays. It’s ok. There is no problem with me.” (She was a really sweet 28 yr. old woman.)

    But for some reason the Tuesday nite nurse, nursing assistant, nursing supervisor and security had issues. Mind you, Kathy is a registered nurse and has worked in hospitals (and knows the rules, policies and exceptions that they generally make) but she didn’t really get into all of that.

    It really was very unbelievable. If I wasn’t there myself I might have found it hard to believe.

    Ready for something funny tho? Shortly after leaving my room…Mr. Tough Guy security guard must have had an accident cuz we watched them wheel him down the hallway in a wheelchair. Kathy and I just looked at each other and said “Karma.” I said “you know if I had any strength I’d go over and look down the hallway at him and say “that’s called Karma motherfucker.” :-) But I didn’t have the energy.

    So now that I’m all better the real “hell raising” will begin. Kathy and I, actually, have many friends that are nurses or have been nurses or have been staff pretty high up in hospitals and such. Of course they all heard the story and have instructed us what to do in regards to who to contact at the hospital, etc. We’re obviously not going to change the world in a day, but shit needs to happen that’s for sure.

    Plus, me personally, I’m pretty damn good with a press release :-)

  3. Scott Costello

    14. Feb, 2010

    I know the feeling of coming out after surgery all to well, I’ve gone under 7 times in my life and my stomach always feels nauseous after I wake up. Terrible feeling.

    So glad you are feeling better and the worst is behind you

  4. Shae

    14. Feb, 2010

    Wow Carey…

    I’m really sorry you had to go through all of that foolishness (which is exactly what it is…foolishness).

    Hope you’re back at 100% soon.

    Something tells me that the nurse supervisor is going to wish she wasn’t so pigheaded.

  5. Stephani

    15. Feb, 2010

    “That’s called karma, motherfucker….”

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    Man, I can’t even imagine how pissed off I would have been. What a joke that they had to send in security.

    A-holes.

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