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Finding Private Money Lenders



Private Money Lenders and finding them is generally a big deal for most, if not all investors. We all want to know “how do we get the private money lenders?” Right? Because if we have the private money lenders then we have access to cash and we can make more cash offers and get more deals accepted but more importantly with this private money source at our finger tips our confidence is higher as well!

Well Kathy and I were in Boston, Massachusetts last week for a Private Money Lender seminar. We spent all day Wednesday, Thursday and Friday with Dave Lindahl for his Private Money/Syndication Bootcamp. (It was $2997 for those who are wondering.)

Anyway, with the bootcamp we got his private money course in hard format prior to going to the bootcamp. I had read it before getting there and we got new, different materials when we arrived. I’ve been to many real estate seminars before and as always, one of the best parts about the seminars is the networking with like-minded folks. It’s just awesome.




Besides that tho, we were hoping to find some private money lenders at the bootcamp hehehe Didn’t happen yet, but we’re still hopeful that some of the contacts we made may be private money lender worthy lol We learned a great deal at the bootcamp and the big thing there was syndication. Syndicating your deals so you can get paid an acquisition fee from your private money lenders at closing. It was super interesting and confusing as well. There was an SEC (Securities and Exchange Commission) attorney there speaking for a day and a half explaining the rules and regulations. What you can and can’t do, etc.

Overall, I really liked the Private Money/Syndication Bootcamp. At the end we had a strategy session with one of Dave’s coaches (of course they try to sell you the coaching program i.e. $8,000 to $10,000) but we don’t have those funds at this time but the coach spent an hour with us (it was only suppose to be 20 minutes) and gave us a great deal of information and action steps to take.

Kathy and I have been talking about the need for a coach/mentor and we’re thinking of going with a gentleman that was referred to us by someone who I met recently from Scott’s Struggling Investor blog. I plan on giving this fella call and chatting with him a few times to see if he’ll be a good fit for us.

I’m super psyched to hit up some private money lenders….or folks that I feel have the potential for being private money lenders for us. We are still practicing our pitches (I practiced mine while laying in bed last nite, while driving home last nite, while in the shower this morning and while driving to my mom’s this afternoon!) I also practiced it on some lady in a New Jersey Turnpike Service Area bathroom lol I did awful by the way….but better to screw up with her then someone I really don’t want to screw up with, right?

I said to Kathy, “I just practiced on that lady.” She said “I know, I heard you.” I said, “I sucked.” Kathy said “I know, but that’s ok.” lol

We got a lot going on right now. 2nd direct mail campaign is out, already getting calls (no fax backs yet tho) and we’ve got a whole lot of action items to tend to and that verbal offer I made?? Remember?? Well the broker told me that he’s trying to get the seller to see reality and thinks he could get him to my price within 3 to 4 weeks. Yikes I say! Not because I’m scared (well maybe a touch) but because we actually saw the property #1 (which it’s in a C area and is a C property with lots of deferred maintenance) but #2 because I messed up when I was figuring out the numbers and the offer should have been way less πŸ™‚ You live and ya learn right?

Luckily, I called ChrisBuysApartments and asked him what to tell the broker so I don’t sound like a complete idiot. Thanks Chris!

Moving right along…a lot to do and oh yeah, Kathy’s away this entire week and I have the kids. And Joe…oh my gosh, has shit to do all this week…baseball then karate then baseball then karate. I swear the only day he doesn’t have something is Monday. Oh and to top it all off he has a religion project due for school lol Definitely my strong suit, right? (For those that know me, know that’s sarcasm!)

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Like-Minded People and Private Money



I think we all know how important it is to have like-minded people in our lives. Grant it, all of you guys and gals that read this blog are like-minded plus all of the blogs that I read, those folks are like-minded as well. So we have many like-minded connections via email and blogs and forums, etc.

But I think it’s also super important to have like-minded in person folks in our lives….wouldn’t you all agree? Sometimes, however, this may be a lot harder than we want it to be. Anyway, I don’t know if ya’ll remember that I told you about the couple that Kathy and I met with and played Cashflow with?




The couples name is Bob and Coleen. Kathy and I met Bob at our monthly local poker tournament that we go to. We call him Poker Bob but his poker name is Mr. Big Nuts πŸ™‚ (my poker name there is Cash N’ and Kathy’s is Kdoc.) Anyway….I actually sold Bob and his wife a Rainbow and I think that was the single best sale I made in Rainbow because I spent a long time there and we found out that we had a whole lot more in common than just poker. We were like-minded.

After that Bob and Coleen invited Kathy and I to dinner and to play Cashflow. And we just talk a lot about investing and goals and things of that nature. It’s very ummmm what’s the word I’m looking for here…..well I’ll just say it’s very nice.

Kathy and I went over again Friday evening for dinner and we chatted about passive income ideas and what vehicles we planned to use to meet our goals in the future. Bob had to leave us about 1/2 hr. after we arrived because he had to head to church because he was having a rehearsal for today. (Today he was being made a sub-deacon. Not that I have any idea about that stuff but I think it’s cool because Bob was super excited about it, so I’m super excited about it for him!) He did finally join us again tho 2 hours later.

We’re kind of like accountability partners for each other too. We’re working on budgets and goals for our next meeting (which Bob and I are more excited about then Coleen and Kathy are lol)

Ohhhh and to top it all off….we spoke to them about us getting into apartment buildings more in detail and that our goal is to get bank financing for 80% for the most part and then private money for the other 20%. They were interested!!! We found our first private money lenders! We, of course, just have to hook up with an SEC attorney because we want to always make sure we do things above board and we also have to find a deal!

This week guys I plan on kicking a$$!!!! I’ve been really sleepy lately and I seem to get winded after I do the simplest thing (Kathy thinks I’m depressed because of a lack of money, especially since I’ve been out of commission for a month.) Whether I am or not, is irrelevant to me, because I’m gonna get my shit on track now…….I have no other option.

TOMORROW I WILL GET UP EARLY, I WILL EXERCISE, I WILL JUICE AND I WILL TAKE MY VITAMINS AND SUPPLEMENTS!!! MY OLD ROUTINE WILL TAKE OVER AGAIN AND I WILL GET SHIT DONE!!!!

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Will It Help Your Real Estate Business Be Successful?



I was catching up on all of the real estate blogs that I read; since I wasn’t able to do so while in the hospital and there was actually a comment left on one of the posts that really gave me an aha moment.

The post came courtesy of Scott from Struggling Investor and it was about doing “busy work.” In other words, instead of doing tasks that can really help you succeed in your core business you do a lil bit of this and a lil bit of that. Ya know, busy work? We’ve all done it and I know I’m a master at it as well.




I was reading through the comments on the post and I found a comment from bilgefisher (I think his real name is Jason.) Anyway, here was bilgefisher’s comment to Scott’s “The Wrong Kind of Busy” post:

“Its good to reflect on use of time. On your to do list, highlight everything that directly affects your success in RE. If it doesn’t then either cross it out or do it after all other items are done. Has helped me a bunch lately.”

Now when I read that I was like OMG what an awesome friggin idea. It is sooo simple, yet I think it’s so powerful. All ya have to do is look at your list and if what’s on there does not directly affect your success in your real estate business (or any business that you partake in) then get if off of your to-do list! Brilliant, don’t ya think?

I’m the type who works best with the notebook and pen type of to-do lists and last night when I wrote up my to do list I wrote the date and then directly under the date I wrote: Will this directly help me be successful in my real estate or atm business?

And that’s the question I asked myself prior to putting anything on my to-do list. I think it’s an awesome tip and I want to thank Scott for putting himself out there with his “busy work” post and most importantly I want to thank bilgefisher for his wonderful and insightful comment.

So, imo, in order to make your to-do list more effective, ask yourself if what you’re putting on there will directly affect the success in your business. And if you put something on your list and you can’t honestly see how it will help you be more successful in your business then GET IT OFF OF YOUR LIST!

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F R E E D O M



personal freedom

You know I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and a lot of reading and just a lot of wondering too. And I’ve figured out what FREEDOM means to me and I’ll share that with you but first I want to publicly thank 2 people. Both I’m sure have no idea that I’m thanking them here. πŸ™‚

First and foremost is Steph, we all know her as Tampa Steph from Flip This Wholesaler. Her and I had a little email back and forth a few days ago and she answered a question of mine openly and honestly and it actually made me think and made me admit things out loud and it also made me realize that I definitely need to do something to make this a reality NOW.

Reading Steph’s response I realized, well actually I already knew this before but didn’t share it too much and didn’t really think I had a choice either, that I don’t enjoy wholesaling as much as I enjoy my internet adventures. Like working on this blog (odd that it’s about flipping and wholesaling, huh? Actually, if you read the majority of the posts….it’s NOT!,) working on my Gay Marriage website, working on my Our Gay Lives blog, working on my BBW Dating site and working on my BBW Life blog.




I really enjoy doing all of those things and I honestly wish I could dedicate more of my time to them everyday, especially the gay marriage site because that is something that I’m very passionate about and something that definitely needs to change in this world.

I also enjoy getting the small revenue that I get from getting paid ads on my gay marriage site, adsense from all of my sites and memberships from my dating site. I’m not making huge money, but it’s nice to make some change when you don’t expect it and for doing something that you enjoy (and in most instances for doing something that is helping other people.) Obviously, if I had more time I could work on improving that income, but I don’t right now because I gotta figure out how to pay the bills *sigh*

Then on to thinking how I really enjoy and get excited about receiving my passive income from my rental property (I have a tenant that is an angel…pays be early every month. He’ll make 2 payments in a month for the next months rent payment.) And I really enjoy receiving passive income from my atm’s. That is super exciting.

When I talk about my atm’s and my rental property and my internet adventures I really don’t have anything that I don’t enjoy about those things. I mean grant it, I hate to have to evict someone, etc. but that’s once in a blue moon, it’s not a constant thing. I actually enjoy going to business owners and trying to talk them into letting me put an atm in their place. I actually enjoy visiting places in the world and taking pictures and videos and then bringing it back and adding it to my Gay Marriage site.

So what I realized from my brief back and forth with Steph is that I want to solely concentrate on accumulating passive income streams from this point forward. I don’t want to concentrate on active income activities like wholesaling or short sales or anything that requires me to be involved a great deal.

Remember I had started a direct mail campaign for apartment buildings? I’m going to go with that full force. Because that has the ability to be a huge passive income stream (definitely property management company material, don’t ya think?) I’m going to be looking at buildings with 50+ units primarily. I have spotted some with less that may be interesting, but my goal really is to first acquire a 50+ unit building.

financial freedom

Kathy is included in this goal for me PERSONALLY, because I’m tired (as is she) of her traveling for work all of the time and being away from home. It sucks. I mean once in a while no biggie, but constantly…it sucks. (Note: I love real estate investing…just not in the active income sense. Which is why I’m looking for passive income opportunities that apartment buildings can bring me. I sure hope this makes sense to SOMEONE out there!)

I mean I actually want to spend time with her and enjoy her company and do the things we want to do in life and plan how we can get there. That’s what you do when you love someone and want to be with them forever, right? You don’t want them to be away every week working so you don’t have to be near them? (Hey, maybe some people prefer that, but not I lol) And the key is I want to do all of this stuff NOW, while we’re young. Why in the hell should any person or any couple have to wait until they are retired to “enjoy life” with one another. And go on vacations and do this and do that without worrying about a boss and this and that.

Screw that. This brings me to my next person I’d like to publicly thank and that is MikePA from the flipping homes community and from The Tattooed Investor.

Mike made a post recently about taking massive action and the massive action thing isn’t really what got me as I know that taking massive action gets results as I’ve seen first hand what massive action leads to but more importantly in that post Mike said this:

“I once chased the money….now I’m in relentless pursuit of my dream life….money is just the resource used to create my life….it’s the “why’s” which truly motivate a person to action….not dollar signs….”

Now have I heard that kind of thing before? Absolutely. But for some reason today I think I was actually ready to hear it and actually RECEIVE the message, if you know what I mean?

I’ve always been stressed about money (well not always, but for the most part.) I have to make x amount of money to pay this, I have to make money for this. I tell Kathy “no we can’t go to Hibatchi’s and bowling because we can’t afford it, we’re trying to get out of debt.” Money has always been the thing that I’m working towards, but oddly enough, the money I earn has never REALLY been truly for me and my life yet? (Some of it has been i.e. rental property, atm’s, etc. but the MAJORITY is what I’m talking about here.) That money has been for other people/businesses, etc. But never for me and my life and my family. Odd huh?

Now don’t get me wrong, I am NOT saying money is not important. It’s very important in life. Try paying your mortgage with a love note πŸ™‚ But what I got from MikePA today is that I’ve been totally going about this whole money thing wrong. So I thought about the why’s that he talks about and the very first why that popped into my head was Kathy and her traveling all of the time for work.

That is a major WHY in my life right now. I want to enjoy my partner and spend quality time with my partner NOW, not when we’re 60, 70, or 80 yrs. old. Now!

So when I got a shower today I figured out what Freedom meant to me and this is what I came up with (I’m sure it’s still a work in progress tho, so bare with me please:)

F– fly anywhere (week long vacations, weekend get aways, family vacations, travel is unlimited)

R– really concentrate on things that I’m interested in and passionate about like gay rights, my gay marriage site, my other online endeavours and teaching children a different way in regards to money and life (I know, I know that I’m still working on it myself, but I’m way ahead of most of the children in the world!)

E– eat anything or anywhere (buy organic, no more worrying about price tag, eat out at any restaurant whenever we choose too. No more “we can’t go there because we’re in debt.” No more dollar menu items, etc.)

E– enlighten family and friends and especially the children in my life (Andrew, Joe and Brandon) that “yes, there is a different way and look we are doing it!”

D– debt-free living (no more worries about bills. Btw, here I’m not including mortgages for rental properties and apartment complexes, etc.)

O– opportunities open and are endless. (when everything is in line in your life and you actually have the ability to SEE, amazing opportunities in all aspects of your life will come your way.)

M– more time with family and friends to spend it and enjoy it how we like.

One more thing that I liked from MikePA’s blog-

“Ò€¦Life is meant to be lived, not simply enduredÒ€¦.Ò€

So I read Mikes post on FH.com and I read these 3 blog posts of his and for some reason today was the day it clicked. Mike, if you’re reading this though, Thanks first of all and second of all……how about that list of books that you recommend?

My FREEDOM scenario above are just some of the things that are going to start my path on how I am going to design MY life. Because after all “It’s My Life!” and I have the personal responsibility to design it the way I want it!

What is YOUR idea of freedom and the design for YOUR life?

And one more time for Steph and Mike….here’s a big

thank you

In closing…..check out “It’s My Life” by Bon Jovi.

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Back to the grind



I hope everyone had an awesome holiday and I hope you will have a safe and exciting New Years Eve. Kathy and I will be hanging out with friends for dinner if the weather cooperates for New Years Eve, otherwise we will be attending our neighbors party (Becky and Jeff, our rent-a-husband!)

Anyway, I’ve been sooooo out of it since we got back from Cali. Total slacker, but I want/need/and will stop it. I’ve been doing lil stuff here and there, but enough of that…BIG ACTION is coming up, because BIG ACTION always gets us BIG RESULTS!

Kathy and I seriously want our first multi-unit (4 unit or more) by March 1st, 2010. Tomorrow we are starting our direct marketing campaign. I put all of our 5 letter campaigns into my computer today, plus 2 speciality letters. I also got a list of all 4 unit and more owners in our county. I think we’ll start there for now. Then expand out when we need to. I’m psyched about this….and scared at the same time. I was telling Kathy about it this evening, but then again I’ve been scared about mobile homes before and I did them and I’ve been scared about getting into single family homes and I did them and I’ve been scared about rehabbing and I’ve did them and I’ve been scared about subject 2’s and I’ve did them and I’ve been scared about wholesaling and I’ve did them…..so I guess it’s ok to be scared as long as I keep doing shit! Ya know?




I’m telling you, for any of you that have never played Robert Kiyosaki’s Cashflow game, I really recommend it. I mean I’ve had an interest in multi’s and mobile home parks before but never like I did after playing that game earlier this month. I mean it’s like the brightest light bulb ever went on that night. It was the “don’t worry about getting out of debt first, just start to accumulate passive income and assets and get out of debt while doing so” light bulb just smacked me straight up in the face. And I’m glad it did….because you know what? It may have taken me a hell of a long time to start doing what Kathy and I are getting geared up to do.

Now that’s on the real estate front…on the ATM front, well I have to follow up with 3 pizza shops, 2 hotels and I did follow up with the other strip club tonite. When I called the guy was so nice and said he was just thinking about us yesterday and we talked about our holidays and he said he couldn’t talk too much now because he was on the road and he said he wants to call us before the end of the week to talk about things because his current ATM contract is up then too. We got our fingers crossed but I’m hoping he signs up with us. That will be 2 strip clubs! And that right there folks, is an ATM goldmine. We offered the guy a pretty damn good profit sharing thang if he signed up with us. Our only obstacle was what if he takes our plan and asks his current guy to match it? Soooo that’s why in my follow up thank you letter to him I didn’t really talk about that too much πŸ™‚ I talked about our charming personalities and how I’m sure we’re wayyyy cuter (mostly Kathy lol) to look at than the guy he’s currently doing business with. Actually, I think I’d be all of my money on the fact that he’d prefer to look at Kathy then his current guy. So, we shall wait and see what happens in a couple of days.

Well I’m off to bed. This is the first night in a longggg time where Kathy and I are actually home alone. Joe is with his Dad and Brandon is spending the night at a friends house. It’s actually really nice. And quiet! (I know some of you make think that sounds mean, but ya know what? I’ve never had kids, never wanted kids, never lived with kids and as you know, when you suddenly have kids in your life your whole entire world CHANGES. Trust me, it’s still a process to get use to for ALL of us, I’m sure. So I don’t mean to come off mean in regards to the kids, it’s just that I was use to living by myself for a long time and just having girlfriends who may have had kids, but didn’t live with me. Whole new ball game when they live with you.)

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I need help!



I know what you’re thinking…”yeah Carey, you need A LOT of help!”

Ok but seriously guys (and gals) I need help with something so silly. I need to know how to get my picture on that lil box that shows up next to my name when I leave comments, ya know like Steph, Scott, Kelli and everyone else in the world except me has πŸ™‚ I thought I knew how to do it, but I don’t.

Please helpppppppppppppppppppp me!



And today on my to do list is: working on (thanks Steph, you inspired me to get back into the work-out swing of things with your miles everyday,) following up on calls to my We Buy Houses signs, following up on 2 potentials for placing our ATM, start doing some searching on the public records to build my list to start a direct mail campaign to apartment owners.

Oh and I’ll still be putting out We Buy Houses signs because I think it would be a good idea to wholesale properties for some cash while trying to build my passive income with apartments.

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My Give Up List to Hit My Life Plan

Ok so when we plan out our plan for our life there’s probably going to be some things that you have to give up in order to accomplish your life plan, right? Well in Larry Winget’s book People Are Idiots and I Can Prove It!: The 10 Ways You Are Sabotaging Yourself and How You Can Overcome Them he talks about making up your list of things that you’re willing to give up in order to reach your life plans.

Here’s mine that I’m going to share with you. Remember, I encourage you to write your own give up list at home. You can share some of the things you’re going to give up here or keep them to yourself, but the important thing is that you do it and actually write it down. I’m actually going to type both of my lists up neat and print it out and frame it and hang it in my bathroom (we’re going to get a printer tonight when Kathy get’s home from Joe’s soccer game.)


Financial-

  • -I’m going to give up watching t.v. at night when I could be putting out bandit signs, making offers or making phone calls.
  • -I will give up sleeping in when I should be working by putting out bandit signs, making offers, visiting properties for sale or that sold, and making phone calls.
  • Physical-

  • -I will give up fast food.
  • -I will give up soda.
  • -I will give up white flour.
  • I will give up white sugars.
  • Mental-

  • -I will give up negativity.
  • Social-

  • -I will give up talking as much as I do to people who aren’t as productive as they could be and should be and who always bitch and complain.
  • Career-

  • -I will give up watching t.v. when I should be on appointments or getting on appointments or making offers, putting out bandit signs, etc.
  • -I will give up sleeping in when I should be on appointment or getting on appointments or making offers, putting out bandit signs, etc. etc.
  • -I will give up thinking that I can be successful without actually working hard for it.
  • Spiritual-

  • -I will give up calling myself lazy, so that I will believe in myself and my ability to work always.
  • Family-

  • -I will give up going to bed so late that I’m too tired to play with the kitty’s.
  • -I will give up my time on Sundays to spend time with my mom and Mike (stepdad) and my father and Lisa (stepmom.)
  • Secret Stuff-

  • -I will give up going to bed late and watching tv late (you can have the give up portion, but nothing else from the My Life Plan portion lol
  • Ok so that’s it. That wasn’t so hard, eh? Again, I can’t wait to get a printer and type this up all nice and neat and then I’m going to hang it in my bathroom (Kathy will be thrilled I’m sure πŸ™‚ In case you forgot, here’s my life plan list that I’m giving all of the above up for.

    Share yours or not but please, please DO IT. Go ahead I dare you to think about what are YOU willing to give up to hit your life plan goals?

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    My Plan for My Life

    Here’s the first list that I told you I wanted to share with you and I would like to encourage each and everyone of you to do this for yourselves. When I was in Vegas last month I saw a speaker. His name was Larry Winget. Some of you may have heard of him, some may not have. He’s very abrasive, very in your face, very ummm let’s just say he doesn’t sugar coat things but boy does he tell it like it is. Some people may not like it because the truth is, they’ll have to realize that THEY are to blame for their life fuck ups. πŸ™‚ We don’t like to take blame for that crap, do we?

    Anyway, I was very intrigued with him and his speech. When I got home I ordered 2 books by him and the first book I want to talk about is called People Are Idiots and I Can Prove It!: The 10 Ways You Are Sabotaging Yourself and How You Can Overcome Them.

    Well the title says a lot eh? lol And you know in your heart it’s true..the part about people being idiots and the part about how we sabotage ourselves. So this list that I’m doing is a list he asks you to do in this book. You want to write out what your plan is for your life in different aspects. Here goes:

    Financial-

  • -I want to make at least $5,000 per month in passive income from ATM’s.
  • -I want to make at least $10,000 per month in passive income from rental properties.
  • -I’d like a net worth of at least $1 million dollars within 5 years (October 2014.)
  • -I’d like to earn an income of a least $200,000 per year.
  • Physical-

  • -I’d like to weigh between 130 to 140 lbs.
  • -I’d like to exercise 20 to 40 minutes at least every other day.
  • -I’d like to eat healthier. Organic fruits and veggies when necessary (ya know when you eat the skin,) read food labels more (which I’m actually pretty good at now…having heartburn/gerd/acid reflux will do that to ya,) pay attention to portion control, eat bigger breakfast, medium sized lunch and small dinner.
  • Mental-

  • -Try to be positive over negative as much as humanly possible.
  • -Try not to gossip or get caught up in petty bullshit.
  • -Maybe take up yoga, photography or both or something of that nature.
  • Social-

  • -I will try to include more people in my network of friends that are like minded and are making at least $200k or more and have some money ideas and attitudes that I have.
  • Career-

  • -I want my career to consist of making money off of several passive income streams.
  • -Plus, I’d like to own perhaps an ice cream truck business and other possible businesses in the future, that of course, others will run for me.
  • Spiritual-

  • -Taking up yoga or photography. And being mentally aware.
  • -I will ALWAYS believe in myself.
  • Family-

  • -Help Brandon and Joe learn about the in’s and out’s of money and investing more.
  • -Visit my mom and Mike (stepdad) and my father and Lisa (stepmom) at least once per month.
  • -Play with my kitty cats more, especially to tire their behinds out at night time! lol
  • Other Secret Stuff-

  • -I have something in this section and I like you all that visit my blog a lot but not enough to share this last section with ya πŸ˜‰
  • Ok so that’s the “My Plan for My Life” list. I’m sure you have heard this before or even done this before and labeled it as goals…and that’s really what they are. But ya know, something about the title of this list just resonates more with me then goals.

    Feel free to share any or all of your plans for your life here, but definitely please take the time to do it at home for yourself. Check out this post to find out what I’m willing to give up in order to get the things on my life plan list.

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